Sunday, April 29, 2007


It's Sunday morning and I walk into the bathroom and this is what's left of Maya playing in the bathroom when everyone had been asked/told/instructed/informed that we all needed to take a short shower and hurry along so we could get to church on time. Normally if this 'art' had greeted me when I walked into the bathroom after such asking/telling/instructing/informing I would not have been pleased with her not listening BUT I am trying to change my ways so today
I just smiled.

It made me do a lot of thinking while I took my shower. 2 + 2 = 4 children for me and my man. The oldest, a 26 year old son, and the third child, a 9 year old daughter, are both the same in so many ways. The second child, a 21 year old son, and the fourth child, a 7 year old son, are both the same in so many ways. 3 were not planned and one was. I never thought I'd have so many children. But we consider ourselves to actually have 7 children. We had two miscarriages and one stillborn child.

I've only told one person, in Oregon, about that. All of our family and all of our friends in California know because they went through it all with us. I'm very thankful that God used them to help us through all trials in our life and I'm thank ful he continues to express his love through others. God is so good to us. The reason I really even mention it is because I believe all happens for a reason. The same reason I think I have four living children.

While my husband and I talk about each one and their personalities, I think about them a lot on a personal level. Why do I have these four living children? Why them? Because I know God has a reason. So this morning while I'm trying to get my mass of curly locks under control with water and conditioner...once again I'm thinking about them on a more personal level.

Maya with her mirror art is just one way of her expressing her joy for life. She loves to wake up. She loves to eat. She loves to socialize. She loves to laugh. She just loves to be part of every day. I was 17 when I had our oldest son. Probably too young but I know he is a blessing to me. Us being so young was not fair to him but to this day, each time we mess up, he is soooo quick to forgive. He never holds a grudge and he finds all people likable until they prove him wrong. Both Maya and Jesse are wide open to everyone they meet and give their all. I admire their qualites to befriend easily.

Tommy, our second son has a very dry sense of humor and he never fails to entertain. His whole life he has only a handful of friends at one time. He is good with his money and he never brags about what he has or complains about what he doesn't have. He is not a materialist person. Ben, the youngest, is very gifted with brain smarts. He taught himself the alphabet at two, he knew how to read by 4, he loves math and science. He writes neat and is constantly exploring. These two don't like to be teased or provoked. I admire their ability to just be who they are.

As I look into the mirror lately and look at my reflection, I see that I'm not the young woman I used to be. I'm seeing the lines, the gray hair and the signs of my inner self. I know family members who are bitter about things that have happened in their lives and it shows in their face and is revealed through what comes out of their heart. As I know I need to simplify my life and change my choices I have to ask myself, what kind of heart will show on my face? Will it be frown lines or laugh lines? I want them to be laugh lines but if I'm not careful, the frown lines that are developing will only get deeper.

I need to learn from my children God has given me. I need to learn from my friends and family who possess qualities that I admire. God puts all people in our lives for a reason. I need to be mindful of my choices. You see, my kids exist for a reason. I need to choose forgiveness every time. I need to choose laughter more. I need to appreciate being part of every day, even if it's not the best day and I need to not waste the natural gifts that God has given me. As my heart swells with thankfulness, I can only say God is so good to me.

No comments: